Why do I give away short stories and sell books?
The short answer to this question is effort. If you read my short stories then it might not be a surprise to you that I don’t spend a lot of time working on them. The casual and simple mistakes that are in almost all of them come from the facts that:
1 – I don’t spell so good,
2 – I write them, read them maybe twice and then move on.
In some cases, that amounts to less than 15 minutes from start to finish. I written some on my phone on a train within 4 stops. I’ve written some while sitting at a bar waiting for friends in less time than it takes to drink a beer. You could argue that I spent time over the week thinking about them, which is true, but unless a really interesting and solid idea occurs to me, it doesn’t take up much headspace.
Please, don’t misunderstand me, I like them. When I do have that thought, that idea, I’m excited to write it and share it. I love sharing my ideas and, of course, I want to deliver the best stories I can, and therein lies another reason to give them away. I want to share them with people.
So, if I love to share, why are my books for sale. Because of effort. Where a short story can be 15 minutes of effort Mostly Human took 2 years. And that was just the first draft. It takes time and effort and deep introspection. I learnt and grew as a person in the writing and then went back and allowed that experience to reflect in the book. It wasn’t a casual thought I sometimes glanced at in my mind, it was a wolf constantly pacing in my head demanding to be seen, to be thought of. And when it was done it got handed to people to judge it and give it back telling me to do better, and I did, and I spent a lot of money for the honour of having my work red-penned and being told to fix it. I had to find a place in myself that was able to admit it was better, and it does read better now compared to the first draft. I adopted strange physical habits to see how people responded so that I would know how the characters in my book might respond. I had deeply uncomfortable conversations with people about menstruation, about abortion and the death of a parent. I opened myself up to being wrong about everything and to find a way to translate my understanding into a story. And after all that, I put it all on display for literally anyone to pick up, look at, and judge.
Some people really don’t like my work. There is a reviewer who cannot believe how carelessly I wrote about abortion because they refuse to believe that’s how it works in real life and how I should have done more research. To be fair, when I started writing, I didn’t know how it worked either, I do now.
And that’s just for one of my books, one of five that I’ve finished and published. There are others. Some abandoned, some still to be written. All in my head taking up space.
So why do I give away short stories but sell my books? Because a short story is a glimpse at an idea. It’s fun it’s quick and it’s impersonal. A book, on the other hand, is a part of my soul that is on display for you to look at and judge.