Fremdscham By D.I. Jolly

“I’d like to thank you all for coming here today, I would like to officially announce my candidacy for president of this great Island of ours. For too long have the good people of this country sat back and watched while the elite, and the entitled have assumed control and steered things in a way that suits them and no one else. Well, I say it’s time to change all that. This country will no longer be ruled in favour of the minority elite but for the benefit of the people. For the benefit of you! I solemnly swear that if I am elected I’m going to make sure that everyone has access to good teachers, and doctors and food! Not just those who believe they are better and more deserving because they have money. If they’re so rich, they can pay for it themselves and for once let the people in need actually get what they need to achieve, and not just… survive! I swear that if elected things are going to change and the people who will reap the benefits are the people putting in the work, the people making the sacrifices, the people of this great country. You, the people, are my highest priority!”

Josh reached across and switched off the television then turned to his flatmate.

“He does say some pretty good things that guy.”

“Smart, articulate, shame his fly was down though.”

“I know right, and who goes commando these days, so 90s.”

“So 90s.”