Bitch Girl Island by D.I. Jolly

To be read like David Attenborough:

Here we see the Bitchy Girl in her natural habitat, the beachside cocktail bar. See how she effortlessly manipulates the inexperienced male into purchasing her a drink and then immediately dismisses him. This time she has selected a colourful cocktail, her drink of choice, known for being delicious, expensive and full of alcohol. The young male, now confused, lingers for a few moments before slinking back to a darker corner to spend the rest of his evening questioning himself, while the Bitchy Girl returns to her group of “friend” to laugh and pass harsh judgement on the young man and then each other.

This cycle will repeat a few more time over the course of the evening until the girls are subtle intoxicated enough to dance, or until a male of high enough quality appears to pluck one of the pretty girls from her group for shallow conversation and if everything goes to plan, eventual mating.

Then, in the morning, she will return to her group to report on if it was suitable good enough to continue to sleep with the male or not. If not the whole procedure will start again. Regardless of the outcome though, the Bitchy Girl will receive harsh judgement and criticism from her “friends”.

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