My Creativity By D. I. Jolly
They say love is the most honest emotion a person can feel, and that to be truly in love is to be blessed. In my experience, it was never so simple. Perhaps I put my feelings in the wrong people, perhaps I never truly understood those feelings in the first place. But as time went by and loneliness became my oldest friend, I began to believe that love was an empty promise from behind scared eyes. Occasionally comfort would tell me that fear prevented others from truly falling, and when presented with the brave honesty of true love most shy away, unable to understand their own feelings.
I was never able to know if this was the truth or just what I would tell myself to make it better. What I did discover was that through creating I could find love for my work, and so poured my emotions in there. And as the world works in ways I don’t care to understand, the less I focused on loving people and instead on loving my work, people came to me. But it was too late, I had closed that door and for all my bravery, for all of my soul on display through my work, I was never again brave enough to open that door.
Time drifted on and like a leaf in the wind we all drifted along with it. My work continued for as long as I was able, people came and went, and that door remained closed. When I could no longer work a part of me believed that the people who had stuck around would also leave, and some did, some didn’t though. But that door remained closed, and on the day I died, it was reported that I died alone surrounded by my work. But what they always failed to understand was that I was more in love with my work, than I could ever imagine with people, and to that to me, I died surrounded by those I loved and by those who loved me.
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