Food Porn By D.I. Jolly

Johnny rolled over still half asleep and jumped swearing as he saw his flatmate sitting next to his bed watching him and eating an apple.

“What the hell are you doing in my room?”

“I’ve been thinking about apples.”

“That’s not enough of an answer.”

“Well, you know how Adam and Eve get kicked out of heaven for eating an apple?”

“Like how I’m about to kick you out of here now?”

“No hear me out, I was thinking what if it’s metaphorical?”

Johnny sat up feeling more than a little confused about the conversation he was now being forced into having.

“It’s a bible story, of course, it’s metaphorical they all are, what’s your point?”

“I was thinking that the apple is actually a representation of sex, I mean have you ever cut an apple in half, the core can really look like a vagina. It seems super obvious when you think…”

“Wait, wait, stop, no. Your ground-breaking theory that has you sitting in my room in the middle of the night, is that the story of the Apple and Adam and Eve is about sex, because a cut open apple, looks like a vagina?”

“Well yeah, the snake gets Eve to try it first, then she talks Adam into it. So she starts playing with herself, Adam finds her and is tempted to join in.”

Johnny’s eyes grew wide with rage and after a long sigh he pulled his blankets up over his head, lay back down turning away from Josh.

“I hate you get out of my room and move out of this flat by the morning.”

Josh feeling his point still valid walked around the bed to show the remaining half of his apple.

“No but look, and I mean if you really think about it makes sense.”

“No it doesn’t, kindly die.”

“Don’t be like that, anyway get some sleep and we’ll discuss it more in the morning.”