Dick Move By D.I. Jolly

It was a lonely 3 am when Jonathan made his discovery. He’d meant to go to bed a few hours before but as so often happened on boring weekend nights, he’d fallen into an internet hole and had forgotten to climb out. Normally the end results were mild regret and a bit of fatigue but today he felt like he’d just won the lottery, and could not wait to share what he had found.

Kevin, who lived two doors down from Jonathan, and had the misfortune of sharing a desk with him at work, was the first person who sprang to mind. The fact that he had to wait until the next day caused an even more restless night than usual.

The two were as close as casual work friends could be. They would go to work together, spend the day mindlessly talking at each other, generally take lunch together and at the end of the day head home together. On very rare occasions Jonathan talked Kevin into going for a few after-work drinks, but only on very rare occasions. It wasn’t that Kevin didn’t like Jonathan; it was just that their idea of being an adult varied wildly. Even though there were about the same age, Jonathan spent his spare time in bars or at home alone surfing the stranger parts of the internet. He occasionally went on dates but only when bored and horny, and even then, the end result was normally slightly less bored but no less horny and a little rejected. When it did work, he would brag like a teenager who’d just seen his first boob. Kevin, on the other hand, was married, he and his wife owned the flat they lived in and spent their weekends having earnest conversations about children.

So, when Jonathan hammered on Kevin’s door at 8 pm on Sunday evening, the look on Kevin’s face wasn’t anywhere near the level of excitement on Jonathan’s.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m so glad you’re home, I have got something I need to show you!”

Then, much to Kevin’s invaded surprise, Jonathan ducked under Kevin’s arm and let himself into the flat.

“What the hell are you talking about, wait, where are you going?!”

“Trust me, it’s going to be worth it.”

“I don’t trust you.”

Confused and a bit overwhelmed Kevin followed Jonathan into his own office and watched stunned as he opened his laptop and started opening web browsers, then with a quick glance around, he clicked on his favourites and the live feed of a naked masturbating woman popped up on the screen.

“Jesus Jon what the fuck are…”

Kevin’s sentence ran off as recognition dawned on him and his mouth dropped open.

“Is… is… that who, uummm…”

“Yup, Rebecca from accounting! Guess we know how she manages to afford that car of hers.”

Kevin stared at the screen for a moment longer, then as his sanity returned, he lunged forward and shut the laptop.

“Hey what are you doing?”

“Me? What are you doing? We work with her, and I’m married and don’t want to see that stuff.”

“I’m not forcing her to do it. She’s clearly made a few life choices that we get to reap the benefits of, and besides your wife isn’t here.”

“That’s not the point, I don’t want or need to know what my co-workers look like naked. Damnit man! I have a meeting with her tomorrow morning.”

“I know, that’s why I thought you dig this, now you won’t have to just wonder what if her low cut top drops just a little lower.”

A bolt of frustration struck Kevin and words exploded out of him.

“I don’t wonder things like that!”

The words echoed around the room taking both of them by surprise, and caused Kevin’s wife to appear in the doorway.

“Hey? What’s going on in here?”

The two men stood staring at each other, then as the moment faded Kevin remained angry and Jonathan couldn’t help but feel defeated and, as usual, a little rejected.

“Nothing, we’re fine. Jonathan was just leaving.”

Kevin’s words were harsh and firm and Jonathan quietly grabbed his stuff and slinked out of the flat, back to his apartment to shamefully get back to what he was doing.

In the morning Kevin noticed that Jonathan didn’t show up for the train to work. Nor did he show up later during the day. But did realise halfway through his meeting that he had started to wonder what if Rebecca’s top dropped just a little lower.

Then that afternoon, even though one sat at home and the other at work, both Jonathan and Kevin started searching for new jobs.

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