Burritos by the River by D.I. Jolly

Josh sat on the river bank and sighed and waved at Johnny who sat on the other side and grinned like an idiot.

“Why are we doing this again?”

Yelled Josh frustrated,

“For Science!”

Came the reply and Josh hung his head and swore. Then he watched as Johnny began to warm up his muscles in way that made it perfectly clear to everyone watching that he had no idea what he was doing, and was instead emulating people he’d seen prepare for a sporting event. He then fished a burrito out of his backpack and narrowed his eyes at Josh.

“Are you ready?”

Josh shook his head and let out a long sigh.

“Sure, fuck it, why not.”

“You don’t look ready!”

Shaking his head again Josh raised his hands and assumed a position that he decided would make Johnny satisfied that he was prepared to catch the burrito. He then let his mind wander away hoping to distract himself enough to not actually see what was about to happen. Johnny took a few steps back then with a running start, winding his arm back as he did and launched the burrito into the air with all his might just before he reached the edge of the river. Moving with such force that he couldn’t even stop himself and dove head first into the water. The burrito flew in a beautiful arch along the sky spinning like an American football as it travelled to about halfway across the river and then it too, just as Josh had predicted, dove into the water never to be seen again. Johnny meanwhile, kicked and struggled to get his head out of the water and dragged himself back onto shore panting and spluttering and turned to look at his friend and then erupted into a cry of victory.

“I told you, I told you I could do it!”

Josh had waited until the perfect moment to retrieve his spare burrito from his own backpack, faked a smile and said sarcastically.

“How could I ever have doubted you!”

“Oh my God dude, this is the coolest thing that’s ever happened, my single greatest achievement!”

“You have an actual, literal human child!”

“Doesn’t even come close!”

Josh shook his head and started walking to the bridge to get to his friend who was practically in tears he was so happy.


“Now for the taste test.”

“Remind me again why we’re doing this.”

“Because burritos are amazing and they only way they could get more amazing is if they’re truly earned them. And I think this one, is truly earned.”

He quickly unwrapped it and took a massive bite, then let out a moan and shivered in a way that made Josh genuinely worry that Johnny was about to cum in his pants, and suddenly felt a very strange prickle of envy.

“Oh my God dude this might be the best thing anyone has ever put in their mouths. Want a bit?”

Josh’s face turned a little revolted.

“No, thanks, you earned this one, you can have it.”

Johnny took another big bit and let out another equally excited moan.

“I think I want all my food this way.”

At which point Josh grimaced and sighed,

“Yeah about that, don’t you think that if you did this with everything it would just become normal? Trying to capture and repeat a perfect moment can ultimately cheapen the honesty of the original event.”

Johnny looked at him a little confused.

“If everything tasted that good then by comparison this meal would just be normal and not … orgasmic.”

“Yeah, yeah I guess that makes sense.”

“Anyway, don’t focus on trying to make the perfect moment happen again, enjoy it while it’s happening.”

Johnny smiled broadly, nodded his head in agreement and took another massive bite, and to show just how much he was enjoying the moment, moaned even louder.

Thoughts? Comments? Questions?

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